I was mistaken in thinking that I was unique and alone in this situation. One in three American women experiences domestic violence or stalking at some point in her life, and the CDC reports that million children are abused every year, million. So actually, I was in very good company. Back to my question Why did I stay? The answer is easy.
I didn’t know he was abusing me. Even though he held those loaded guns to my head, pushed me down stairs, threatened to kill our dog, pulled the key out of the car ignition as I drove down the highway, poured coffee grinds on my head as I dressed for a job interview, I never once thought of myself as a battered wife. Instead, I was a very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man, and I was the only person on Earth who could help Connor face his.
I put on my mother’s wedding dress, and I married him. Despite what had happened, I was sure we were going to live happily ever after, because I loved him, and he loved me so much. And he was very, very sorry. He had just been really stressed out by the wedding and by becoming a family with me. It was an isolated incident, and he was never going to hurt me again.
It was I still had on my Tucson domestic violence lawyer nightgown I was working on my computer trying to finish a freelance writing assignment, and I got frustrated, and Connor used my anger as an excuse to put both of his hands around my neck and to squeeze so tightly that I could not breathe or scream, and he used the choke hold to hit my head repeatedly against the wall. Five days later, the ten bruises on my neck had just faded.